Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The People's Republic of Boulder Does it Again!

First of all--not that it has any relevance to this post--I heard on the national news this morning Mississippi is the fattest state (people's girths), and Colorado is the skinniest. That's the good news about Colorado.

Now for the bad news.

It is, of course, no secret that the People's Republic of Boulder has, once again, thrust Colorado into the international spotlight, first with Mary Keenan Lacy's--Boulder's District Attorney--decision to go after the nutcase, John Mark Karr--who happened to be slithering about Bangkok, Thailand--as the murderer of JonBenet Ramsey. Much of Lacy's "probable cause" came from emails a University of Colorado journalism professor, Michael Tracey, exchanged with Crazy Karr and shared with Ms. Lacy. Tracey, by the way, has made one "documentary" on the JonBenet case that attempted to turn attention for the murder away from the Ramsey family and toward an outside "intruder." And, by the way, Tracey is currently hawking a book with regard to his delusional theories about the case. So, Ms. Lacy gets a warrant from a Boulder judge (dare we wonder about the competence of the judge who issued the warrant) and off to Bangkok the Boulder cops go--at the expense of Colorado taxpayers--and bring Crazy Karr back to Boulder, with a stop in California because of a kiddy porn case.

Curiously, Ms. Lacy was depending upon a DNA match to prove Crazy Karr was the guy, the murderer. Here's the thing about the DNA. There was a trace of "Caucasian male" DNA found in the poor child's panties. There was also DNA found under JonBenet's fingernails. But, wouldn't you know it, the DNA under her fingernails was compromised, contaminated--we are told--by a "dirty" scalpel during the autopsy. Now, it has been shown, demonstrated that there are traces of DNA in panties that have just been removed from the plastic wrapping in which they are sold at your local Wal-Mart or Target or--probably in the case of the Ramsey's--from Dillards or Lord and Taylor.

Okay. Still with me?

So, the Boulder cops get to Bangkok to, we are told, not only to arrest Crazy Karr but also to get a DNA sample--a mouth swab--from the nutcase. What happens? Well, it seems that the Boulder cops misplaced the DNA swab kit--or, perhaps, didn't even bring a kit--and no DNA test was conducted in Bangkok. In fact, the DNA swab was not taken until Crazy Karr got to Boulder from California. The Denver Police Department crime lab ran the DNA match test and WALLAH!--big surprise--there was no match.

I take no comfort in my prior posts--the first one on the morning the arrest of Crazy Karr was announced--that proclaimed no way, no how was Crazy Karr guilty of the JonBenet murder. I take comfort only in the fact that Karr is, indeed, crazy (sorry if I'm being politically incorrect, here) and will, hopefully, be institutionalized and, therefore, unable to destroy the innocence of children with his sickeningly despicable desires.

Yes, not only is Colorado the home of James Dobson's "Focus on the Family," Miss Chubby Pinkness, U.S. Congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave (defender of the sanctity of man/woman marriage in the U.S. House of Representatives), U.S. Senator Wayne--Dullard, Do Nothing--Allard who, of course, also plays to his Colorado flatlander base decrying the "homa-sex-yall" agenda; yes, as if we didn't have enough craziness to contend with, the People's Republic of Boulder shines resplendent today, as an international laughing stock.

Yeah, I know. Generalizations are empirically invalid. In fact, the University of Colorado is my alma mater--although I spent only one year in Boulder and four years at the University of Colorado, Denver Center. But, goodness, dare I ask what next, what absurd illogicalness will emanate from the People's Republic of Boulder?

And, remember, Denver ain't Boulder. Thank God.

P.S. "Fair and Balanced," here's a post from my bud Suz-at-Large that paints a wee bit different picture than I've provided with this post.


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